The Saferoom Project eNewsletter Edition 10, vol 1.10

15 July 2000
Edition 10, vol 1.10
Saferoom.org

	Updates on The Saferoom Project: CONVENTION!!! Newsworthy: 12 Steps In the Rooms... Therapy Landscape: Meditation What Our Members Are Doing Call For Submissions: ...Writers... Poets... Artists Acknowledgements About The Saferoom Project eNewsletter
Welcome The Saferoom Project eNewsletter!! a note from the Editor
Happy Summer everyone!! Hope this edition of the eNews finds you all doing well! HI! to our regular readers, and welcome to all of you who are joining us for the first time! I hope everyone is keeping cool this summer (or warm depending on your corner of the world), and taking lots of holiday time to relax and get out (get off the computer) to enjoy Nature. We have a lot going on in The Project right now, regularly scheduled chats in most every forum now, activity planning for our non-profit plans, and organizing our First Annual Saferoom Project Convention in DC this fall. So read on, tell us your thoughts on the eNews, and feel free to contribute to its publication. Take care of yourself, be good to yourself, and stay safe. be well. ~ copper_beech

**First Annual Saferoom Project Convention!!!**
We will be hosting our first annual SRP Convention in Washington, DC, the weekend of September 15-17 2000. We have made arrangements for a blocked reservation of rooms for two nights (Friday September 15 and Saturday September 16th) at a hotel in Vienna, VA (just outside DC), so that we can all stay at the same location (and have slumber parties) if desired, though no one is required to stay at the "designated" hotel. The rate for the blocked rooms will be $84.00 per nite, per room, which includes breakfast for two each morning, and various other amenities that will be later detailed. We will need to have an as close to exact head count as possible, so we are requiring those 99.9% sure they can go to RSVP no later than August 1 2000. Please RSVP to saferoomproject@yahoo.com by 1 August, with your Yahoo ID and a valid email address. Those who RSVP to attend will be added to a private temporary SRPfocus discussion mailing list, where they will receive info on the hotel, vie for any roommates they want to share a room (ie split fees) with, transportation/travel info, and other event information. This information will not be posted publicly anywhere to protect the anonymity of those attending, as well this info will not be shared with those not attending, for the same reason. There will be at least 2 founders there. Partners, children, and legal guardians are all welcome to attend. General info: There are 2 airports in DC, Washington-Dulles being closest to our location. There are also bus and Amtrack stations. Vienna, VA is on a Metro stop into DC, so we can take the train for most of what we will do there. Each attendee is responsible for paying for all lodging, food and travel expenses. At least 2 founders for the SR forums will be attending, and one from the partner forums. We hope to see as many there as can possibly make it. There's a lot of free stuff to do in DC, such that there won't be any lack of entertainment. And just imagine, talking with no typos! Please join us. It will be a very special occasion!! Please refer back to our web site for updates on this info (SRPCon Updates). If you have any questions, write the founders at saferoomproject@yahoo.com.

Updates on The Saferoom Project....

Over the past few months, all of the forums have experienced steady growth, and we have regular chats being hosted in most of the rooms. Please check out the calendars or schedules at each site, to find a chat time that is convenient for you. For directions to all of our forums, check out the FAQ at our web site, Saferoom.org.
Our web site also continues to grow, with new additions in the Gallery. We would like to invite all members and Project supporters to submit their web sites to be included in The SRP Web Ring.
New sites entered into the web ring include:
Light A Candle
Diana's survivor side (our only Danish ring site)
Twisted Roots of Evil

All partners, family, friends and supporters of survivors are invited to join the Yahoo SRP Partners, and the Delphi SRP Partners forums.

We also have a private channel on IRC, #Saferoom, located at irc.webmagik.net . You can access our channel via mIRC, or another client configured to access IRC, or by using a telnet application (for the techies ;). You can download mIRC and other IRC clients of your choice at IRC Clients.

Calling for Volunteers...
There are several things in The Project that are in dire need of volunteers at the moment.
Anyone who is interested in writing for the SRPeNews, please contact the SRP Editor. The eNews is looking for regular features writers, news writers, book reviewers, and correspondents to cover events in each forum of The Project.
We need someone who can collect links for the web site. The current Links page has many useful links provided mostly by founders. In an effort to have more input from members on the site direction, we would like to have submissions of links for use on our site.
We are still looking for an attorney who can work pro-bono or at a reduced rate. If you know of anyone who can help, please contact us at Saferoomproject@yahoo.com. After we become a corporation we can then apply for the non-profit status, which in turn will enable us to raise and achieve the goals we have talked about from the beginning, which are to maintain the safest forums that we can online, as well as inspiring outreach programs in the 3D community. The Saferoom Project will become a driving force within the community, both online and offline. All good things come to those who wait, and we are no exception.
Go to our web site to review our Mission Statement, and Application for Non-Profit Status. As items are updated, they will be reflected on these pages.
Some members have asked if they could help out financially with different aspects of The Project, and we have been advised to not take donations or contributions until we are legally recognized as a corporation. We are most grateful to accept contributions in the form of input and advice on our NP status, as well as effort on the web site, and all of the forums.
As always, thank you for your support!

Newsworthy
If you have a news item to include in the SRP eNewsletter, contact copper_beech.

"My name is Steve, and I'm an..." by Buckethead

For many people in the world today, that may be the most frightening, and most liberating sentence that they have ever uttered--a sentence fraught with an admission of powerlessness and a desire for change.
Twelve Step groups come in many different forms. Be they Alcoholics Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, or any of the other myriad dependency recovery organizations, they all basically boil down to the same thing--a group of like-minded individuals gathering to receive, and help others receive, the strength to overcome an addiction.
Twelve Step groups are filled with sexual abuse survivors. To cope with the scars of these childhood assaults, survivors often find themselves attempting to medicate their feelings away through alcohol, cocaine, sexual promiscuity (or its polar opposite, sexual anorexia,)exercise--any way that diverts memory and anesthetizes the black and bleak prospects which make up many of the survivors' ideas of the future.
For many survivors of childhood trauma, often it doesn't matter which of the Twelve Step groups they choose to seek help from. Obviously, if the underlying problem is the abuse history, and the coping mechanism becomes a heavy addiction to whiskey and wine, regular attendance at Overeaters Anonymous might not be beneficial. Such a person, while engaging in regular psychotherapy, would benefit from the advice, encouragement, stories and shared camaraderie from an AA meeting, but often it seems that the addictions experienced by survivors are completely random and interchangeable; it is not the addiction itself, rather, it is what the addiction serves to cover that really needs the attention. The addiction, then, is merely a symptom for a much larger "dis-ease."
An abuse survivor's first night at a Twelve Step meeting can be terrifying and completely overwhelming, primarily because the protective mechanisms that may have arisen become challenged. Many times, these people don't return. They see the supportive atmosphere that can develop in a true recovery fellowship, and feel that they can never insinuate themselves adequately into the fold. Unfortunately, sometimes this is the case. Like any support group in life or online, there are Twelve Step chapters that evolve into a social gathering in the basements of churches...general chat if you will, but the majority of them are not like this.
Over the course of the next few columns, I will look more in-depth at the philosophy, the benefits, the problems, the pain, and ultimately, the success that one can achieve through this form of recovery. Stick with me...perhaps we'll earn our red chips together.

In the Rooms...

Moderating Chats...
All of the rooms now have moderators with scheduled chats. Please check the calendars at each chat site, in order to keep up with them... The Excite forum is open, though it's not quite as sophisticated as Yahoo or Delphi, there have been a few members coming and going there. So far, only Yahoo and Delphi are voice chat enabled. If you are unsure of the location of these chats, read the FAQ at the Saferoom site. Please take some time to check out these forums and chats. And if you can give even just an hour a week, it would be great... Speak with a founder to find out how to host a chat...

Forum Glitches...

Yahoo is Yahoo. It seems that a lot of members haven't been able to access Yahoo at all the last few days, post board or chat... Please know that we are aware of these problems, and any complaints as such for Yahoo should be directed to Yahoo Forum Bugs. There are no problems being reported currently at Delphi or Excite.

A TINY LITTLE VOICE
One tiny voice so small and weak.
A voice so afraid it could not speak.
A voice so tiny it could not be heard.
A voice so frozen it could not utter a word.

This tiny voice of a young little girl,
A tiny voice afraid of the world.
This tiny voice that knew no safety and love,
This voice that even stopped speaking to heaven above.

This tiny voice could never cry out loud,
This voice was screaming on the inside.
This tiny voice can no longer wait.
This voice will no longer stutter or hesitate.

This tiny voice shall be heard today.
I need the world to listen to what I have to say.
I will be silent no more,
My tears shall cover the floor.

Watch this tiny voice become strong and loud.
Watch me be heard above the crowd.
Sometimes a tiny voice is the only thing we have that we can use,
And if we don't, we will continue to be abused.

Susan Kesegich (Mustang_susie_99) copyright 1999

Shop The Project

Most of you are already aware that you can donate funds to The Project by shopping though our web site. This month we continue to feature our affiliates The Franklin Mint, and AllHerb.com . You can visit their sites, and make online purchases by clicking the images here. To make contributions to The Project while you shop online, visit our Shop at The Project site. All donations go to the upkeep and maintenance of our web site, hosting fees, private server, and to our incorporation and legal non-profit status application fund. If you do not wish to shop online, but still desire to donate funds to The Project, please direct these inquiries to mrs88888 and copper_beech.

Therapy Landscape...
The SRP eNewsletter will include as a regular feature, different approaches in the world of therapy, known as Therapy Landscape. Watch this feature for challenges in therapy, new methods, and alternative healing resources. Any members who specialize in a field of therapy or healing are invited to submit articles on their experiences. Please contact copper_beech

Meditation by oak_leef

"Meditation is inner astronomy.
You discover the stars, the moon,
and the sun are all inside you."
Why meditate? There are many reasons. But those that stand out most are learning to think clearly, and to dispel ignorance, illusion, greed, hatred and craving, among other things as well. Only by diligence and persistence -- and the road for many may be long -- can victory over it be achieved.
"Meditation has been used for thousands of years to quiet the mind and help attain inner peace. Whether or not you discover Ultimate Truth, it's a useful tool for combating stress and confusion in the life of the average, pre-enlightened person."
It can be considered a technique, or practice. It usually involves concentrating on an object, and over time, the number of random thoughts occurring diminishes. More important, your attachment to these thoughts, and your identification with them, progressively become less.
People search for what they call 'The Truth'. They seek guidance in an arena from "higher" beings on other dimensions. You are one of these beings. Everyone has a Higher Self. This self exists simultaneously on this dimension, as well as all others. "The possibilities for life are limitless, and this great Spirit that you are wants to experience the opportunities and possibilities that abound."
You have contact with your Higher Self, but often it comes more clearly when you focus your intent upon bringing Spirit into your life. The phenomenon of channeling is really a simple concept: it is bringing in Spirit (not necessarily your own) and letting it communicate either to you or through you.
Your Higher Self is not limited by time or space, you can access the whole of your entire being, that is, your past, present, and future selves, as well as all aspects of it. "Your Spirit is really greater and much more vast than you can imagine." You are here on the physical plane, learning all about limitation, and often, you don't have the "bird's eye view" that your multidimensional Self does.

______________________________________________________________________________

Things to do, things to avoid, and things to consider:
Work in groups when possible. Group energy can multiply the energy of an individual many times over.
Remember that meditation is an escape TO reality, not an escape FROM reality. Avoid any guru or group that asks you to deny truth.
Don't limit yourself to just one teacher. The single guru approach can lead to 'cult thinking' with its small mindedness and 'us Vs them' syndrome.
Avoid fads and complicated philosophies that give your mind more to think about. Meditation is a step beyond the thought process. No philosophy can adequately describe man's place in the universe.
Concentrate on meditation in this moment and not on ancient scriptures. Many old scriptures were written by madmen and fools and have gained respect from society simply because they are so old and dusty.
Take good care of your health. Get a proper diet without becoming a food fanatic. A vegetarian diet supplemented with dairy products is generally best. Eggs are not harmful to meditation and if you wish to eat meat then fish is a better choice than foul or beef. If you have a medical problem like hypoglycemia you may have to eat meat just to survive. "A vegetarian or semi-vegetarian diet is usually best for students of meditation but food should not be made the fundamental basis of your practice. (Remember that Adolf Hitler was a perfect vegetarian yet his diet did not save his soul or even make him nonviolent.)"
Avoid fasting as it is a waste of time and will weaken you physically.
Avoid drugs and alcohol. Drugs are not an effective path to enlightenment.
Have sex when you wish and do not force celibacy upon yourself in the hopes it will lead to enlightenment. "To meditate one must be in a very natural and relaxed state of mind without repression or tension." Celibacy can only be of value if it occurs spontaneously without effort or thought. Why make sex a big secret and why have two faces? Many fully enlightened humans have had sexual relations even after enlightenment.
Do practice 'choiceless awareness' throughout the day. Meditation must become as continuous and spontaneous as breathing.
Don't make meditation a competition and drop any hidden agenda you may have to use it to control others. Legitimate motives for meditation are the desire for tranquillity and ecstasy, freedom from suffering, and the pure adventure of self-exploration.
Be completely honest and have just one face, not two.
For every action there is a reaction, not just in theoretical physics but in ordinary human life as well. When you create positive actions you will eventually reap positive reactions for yourself and for others.

The goal, in the end, becomes to be able to transcend the need for personal love or hate. Quietude comes to us. Release. These are the goals of insight whose aim is release from suffering. "How close we come to realizing them will depend on the quality of those we seek out to teach us and on our own assiduity in the mindfulness with which we seek, through our meditation."
Here are some excellent resources that can provide you simple technique you can use to channel your Higher Self, or Spirit. It is a very flexible method and you can always modify any of it to suit your own needs. Anyone can do this.
Breath by Breath : The Liberating Practice of Insight Meditation, Larry Rosenberg, April 1998 Shambhala Publications
Discovering the Power of Self-Hypnosis : The Simple, Natural Mind-Body Approach to Change and Healing, Stanley Fisher, June 2000, Newmarket Press
_____________
Naparstek, Belleruth , Health Journeys for Anyone Concerned With General Wellness, Feb. 1994, Health Journeys Publications.

Wilde, Stuart, The Art of Meditation, Sept. 1996, Hay House Inc.

Zukav,Gary, Soul Stories: Practical Guides to the Soul, Simon & Schuster Trade, Apr. 2000.

What our members are doing...

All of the following information has been included at the request of the forum owners, who are members of a forum in The Saferoom Project. These forums are NOT part of The Project, and operate under different administrative requirements for membership. If you have a forum that you would like to have announced in the SRP eNewsletter, please send the information that you would like included to the Editor. We ask that you NOT use The Saferoom Project post boards or mailing list to announce other forums. Thank you!

Forums run by SR members
Soul Survivors Sanctuary Spiritual Survival Truth's Homepage SpiritQuest	Soul Survivor Sanctuary is a nondenominational club for survivors of sexual abuse to work together to reclaim their spiritual identity. Any belief system is welcome as long as you are nonjudgemental to the beliefs of others. This forum is located at Yahoo. Spiritual Survival is a discussion mailing list based at Onelist, focusing on healing methods, providing thought-provoking sharing for daily spiritual health. Contact truthsayer62 for more information. Also, visit Truth's pages to learn more about her.
SR Open Mic Weekly Chat	HOST NEEDED, Tuesdays at 10pm EST. This chat is for sharing and discussing original writings of members, and significant lyrics and poetry by other writers. To find out more about how to participate in Open Mic, join the SRPOpenMic mailing list at Onelist. To receive the poetry read at these chats, sendmail to SRPOpenMic for more information.
Soul Survivor Forum	This forum is for adults, over the age of 21, who wish to focus on alternative methods of healing. There are both post board and chat formats. Contact copper_beech for more information.
SRP Round Robin Weekly Chat	Hosted by copper_beech and oak_leef, Wednesdays at 9pm EST. This chat is a closed on-topic chat, open to all SRP members. With a support group format, each week we focus on a specific topic, some carried over week-to-week. All are welcome to attend, though we ask that you please be on time, and honor the chat format. Virtual snacks abound.
POSitive Partners of Survivors	A place for the Partners of the SA to get the support they need. A place for them to vent, get advise and even some insight from Survivors. We are currently posting and we have a weekly chat as well. Contact Hrtfelt32via email for more information, or Hrtfelt32 or SilencedAngel by Messenger.
Survivor Forums with which SR Members are affiliated
SRP Partners	The SRP Partners forum, for partners, friends, and family of sexual abuse survivors, is for supporters of survivors. For more info, write macaroni_duck.
	An advocacy organization focusing on the legal penalties of sex offenders. For more info, write Sandra Corell.

...Writers ... Poets ... Artists

The SRP eNewsletter is now accepting submissions for monthly publication of artwork (poem, prose, scanned artwork) by Project members. Only one submission will be published each month, which will be selected by the eNewsletter editors. Send all submissions as they are to be published to eNews Editor

My Reflection?
I'm looking in a mirror and seeing an old face--
one from long ago, another time, another place.
I see in her eyes as I look at the reflection
a lonely little girl, starved for affection.
The world she knows has so often been shattered,
now, most of the time, she feels she doesn't matter.
It's been so long since love has been shown
she fears she must fight her battles alone.
I try to reach out, to show some affection
But my hands hit the glass--I forgot she was my reflection.
Looking at her I can plainly see
just how bad things used to be.
I can see in her eyes, without looking deep,
that there are many secrets she keeps.
But if you look deep, her eyes look dead.
There's been so much she never said.
The secrets she kept and never told--
because she wasn't very bold.
I try to reach out, to show some affection
But my hands hit the glass--I forgot she was my reflection.
I wish I could help her feel less alone,
but how I could do this I've never known.
Although I've tried for many years,
she still has so many hidden tears.
So often she was told not to cry,
now she just lets out a tiny sigh.
One so quiet no one else can hear--
and that's how she hides all those fears.
I try to reach out, to show some affection
But my hands hit the glass--I forgot she was my reflection.

Tina M. Bacon (arcenciel25_1999)
Copyright �2000 Tina Bacon

Acknowledgements

The founders would like to thank everyone for their continued support and continual efforts to keep The Saferoom Project a positive, healthy, and safe atmosphere!!!

About The Saferoom Project eNewsletter

The SRP eNewsletter is mailed out on the 15th of every month, with pertinent information about The Saferoom Project, its affiliated resources, related forums, and events. If you would like to include an announcement in the eNewsletter, please send it to copperbeech by the 8th of each month.
All other inquiries regarding writing for the eNewsletter should be directed to the same email. Letters to the Editor should be addressed to Editor@saferoom.org.

Feel out of the loop? Read the SRP eNews Archive

©July 2000

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