Welcome to The Saferoom Project eNewsletter!!
     a note from the Editor

"Are you Crazy?"

Well, maybe. Depends on who you ask.

It's a relatively simplistic question, on the surface, and one that survivors are all too familiar with. I know I've been on the receiving end of it countless times, and even asked it a few, myself. But consider this--it takes on an entirely different meaning in the context of an online group meeting for the first time IRL. To an outsider, "Are you Crazy?" sounds like a potentially pointed and personal question, but to Saferoom members, we know it to mean, "Are you the one who calls herself Crazyoneof3?". Just imagine going around a crowded airport or bus station, randomly asking strangers "Are you Crazy?"...

We did it though, in talking with each other. And it was probably the first time sed question was met with hysterics and not resentment, or frustration. The notion of crazy comes up a lot in survivor circles, those around us speculating that we have lost it; we, ourselves, speculating that we're nuts... Sometimes we even speculate that those who actually stick around to support us are crazy. I'm sure our partners have asked it of themselves a few times too. It's something that any of us connected with abuse deal with on a continuous basis. Imagine for a minute, that you can meet a group of people who are survivors like yourself, or the partner of a survivor of sexual abuse, and that you can coexist with these people for a time, with no questions, no labels. Imagine being able to say whatever you need to, without fear of reproach, without censoring your words or your thoughts, and being able to fully be yourself, and then you will have a glimpse into SRPCon 2000.

We literally were a group of people coming together from different walks of life, some partners, some survivors, with different experiences, but with one goal in common--to meet in person the people we had been talking with online, some for just a short time, others of us for years. We had no idea how it would be, this familiar yet new interaction. Several of us, including myself, had never met with a group of survivors before, and all of us exclaimed over the acceptance and ease that we felt among this group of friends. Not ONCE did it matter what our pasts were, what our diagnoses were, and at the same time, it was hard to forget why we had chosen to come together. We chose for ourselves, to unite with other people like ourselves, and for that short period in our lives, nothing else was of issue.

Maybe I am crazy. Maybe all of us are. Maybe it doesn't really matter what we are, when we can come together and just be.

Those of us who were at SRPCon 2000 finally met the real Crazy, and we'll never be able to hear that question the same again. ;)

---

From SRPCon 2000

from ~lizalee "Even though I could only be a part of the conference for a short time, it was incredibly moving to me to be a part of the gathering. I arrived on Saturday evening while everyone was seated for dinner at this wild Rain Forest restaurant. Everyone had been together already for 24 hours. I was SO nervous to try and break into this group that had already gone through the initial introduction phase of meeting each other. They had already spent a whole day together touring D.C. I almost gave up and just about left several times while still outside the restaurant. I finally decided, "I have to do this", and forged my way through the entrance of the restaurant. As soon as I arrived at the table, I was immediately relieved as Mrs. got up from her chair and warmly introduced me to everyone, "This is Copper, Heart, Crazy, TedeBear, etc, etc." All these names I had seen on-line so many times. All these names that I had read deep, intimate, heartfelt stories on their posts. I had read about their lives, their struggles and their joys. I had chatted with some of them a little bit. And here they were in front of me. Real people. Not just words on a computer screen any more. Externally, there were so many differences among us. People came from so many different regions of the country, different jobs, all different personalities. Some were outgoing and some quiet. And yet we all shared this incredible, intense common bond of knowing we all shared a history of something really hard and painful. But pain or sadness was no where to be found. Instead, I found myself inspired, as I realized that every person around the table was courageously growing and healing and forging on in their own personal journeys. For the next couple of days afterward, I found myself teary and emotional. I have always felt so alone in my own struggles with managing my memories and coming to terms with my past. But now I felt an incredible bonding with this neat group of people that I knew understood me. No longer were they cyber persons. They were real persons with real hearts, and now I felt a part of them. Thank you everyone for how much you have helped me in my own healing journey. "	from ~hrtfelt32 "I first would like to thank mrs 88888 and copperbeech for making this trip possible. I cannot put into words what it meant to me to go on this trip, but what it means to me now is even more special. It is probably the one thing I will ever had done in my life that I will never forget and the one thing will ever have done just for me. I still remember the voices and the faces well. The fun and laughter we shared rings clear in my memories. Along with this I have a fulfillment in my heart... As we meet for the first time, as everyone stumbled in staggerdly, I could see that, they too felt like I did. I could see that they were nervous, a bit scared, and even vulnerable. Some wondered, like me, if they would be accepted, or would they once more be alone...With this, came relief for me, and most of us I think, as we realized we were... not alone, instead, *understood*. Naturally, each gave unconditionally what the others needed...it was easy, we all longed for the same thing...People who knew what life was like, what it felt like then, and most importantly, what it feels like now. There was no need to hide things, you knew it wouldn't have done any good, your hiding place was theirs too...Instead we decided to come out and play together... A wonderful time I had! It was so much fun getting to put the voices and typo's with faces....lol WoW, some were exactly as I had imagined and some were nothing as I imagined! As I looked at and noticed each one, I knew they were seeing things that others would never see in me, and that was OK! My favorite times was when we went to the Rain Forest Cafe, and just sittin around in mrs room (sorry Lincoln..lol). I spent most of my time with Crazy, and JC, and Kathy and Lorrain (they smoked!) and lord have mercy I will NEVER forget my time alone with the Mrs before everyone got there!....lol What a "trip" we had! The one I enjoyed hearing the most, I have to say, was Phil (mrs hubby) as he told us what life was like with the mrs:) I can still hear him in my head, and I chuckle... Thanks everyone for being who you are, and for accepting me for who I am!"
from ~soulsurvivor563 "Just like any group I approach, I was terrified of feeling left out and alone. That they would have all found their way into little cliques, and that I would have to suffer silently thru the rest of the weekend, with a smile plastered on my face, and the awkwardness showing in everything I did. You see I arrived late, and the group had already had a chance to bond without me. But I could not have been more wrong. Like the "Whos" in the Grinch who Stole Christmas, that stood around the town square that Christmas Morning, they just expanded their group to include one more. (Wa Hoo, Wa Hoo) For the first time in my life when meeting people, I found what it was like for people to see who I was. Not what my face looked like, or the color of my hair. (though some mentioned my hat). I didn't feel judging eyes looking at my body to assess whether it fit in with their image of perfect. Were my clothes cool enough. I don't think anyone bothered to look. What I did notice, where the hugs, the handshakes, the smiles that said, "MY HEART KNOWS YOU!" You might have thought that a group of survivors sitting around all weekend would have gotten quite morbid. But the tears we shed were of laughter. Having shared our stories on line, we didn't need to prove them to each other or live in the hurt. We were there to rejoice in life. To rejoice in surviving. And that is what we did. We laughed and loved, and made some face to face friendships, that will last a lifetime. I had fear and anxiety before I left, and I am so glad that I went. A trip well worth making. It was priceless."	from ~crazyoneof3 "I just want to write a short piece for those of you who didn't go to the DC trip but wanted too. I would suggest strongly that you go to the next one. It was so neat putting a face and body language with a name. Not only did we have fun but we supported each other. We talked and talked and talked. We heard stories about each other and laughed. And copper did a neat exercise with drumming. Although I didn't participate it was cool to watch and hear what others got out of it. I am so thankful for those who showed up and I feel such a bond with you all now. A special thankyou to Copper and Mrs for putting this on they did a wonderful job organizing this. I look forward to next year getting together."
from ~mrs88888 "Well for me the convention was such an uplifting experience. It was a dream come true. It was better than I ever could have expected. I wasn't really nervous to meet anyone as I felt I really "knew" mostly everyone that was coming. I had a wonderful time. It really felt like a class reunion instead of a bunch of people meeting for the very first time. I have NEVER ever in my entire life felt as totally comfortable with a group of people as I was that weekend. It felt so nice to know that I "fit" in with the group and not stood out. Most times even in a room full of people I feel like I don't fit in but I felt I did this convention for sure. I usually feel insecure and feel like people are judging me especially my size but not this weekend. I did not even have a tinge of feeling insecure or judged. I felt totally at home. I laughed harder then I can remember in so very long. We all bonded really well and got along so well it really was uncanny. Even the 2 spouses that were there fit right in. I had worried bout how my spouse would fit in, if everyone would "accept" him into the group. I was so totally blown away that the group was just totally into making him comfortable and feeling like part of the group. I would like to thank everyone who helped plan or who attended the convention. My hope and dream for next year is to have more people joining us. It really felt great to bond with people who know the "real". "	from ~truthsayer26 "i was really nervous about coming to the con but not for meeting other survivors. it's always been easy for me to just withdraw if things get too uncomfortable. i have had many medical probs over the past 3 years that have prevented me from traveling. i was afraid i would get sick on the trip and be a pain in the rear end to a bunch of ppl who didn't know me. however, i was blessed with feeling pretty good that weekend. i got such an emotional and spiritual lift from the con. it gave me hope that i am getting better mentally, physically, and spiritually. i can't remember the last time i laughed so hard!! i also can't believe that i didn't just evaporate into the walls like i expected was going to happen. i felt safe to be myself--also rare. i actually felt comfortable enough to admit i was in physical pain once and soul gave the most wonderful massage. she really got the muscle spasms out and prob enabled me to trek the famous 5 mile hike to the lincoln memorial.LOL slight exaggeration here but i'm not sure by how much. ;) dinner at the rain forest restaurant was incredible. some ppl told me it took a while to get our food. i didn't even realize it. for a change i was being a social butterfly instead of a wall flower. later that evening, copper lead us thru a journey that was incredibly wonderful and emotionally intense for me. copper told us to see something we need to see now. i think i needed to feel pure joy and hope b/c that's what i experienced. (for those of you who didn't know that's why i cried. it's been too long since i've felt that happy.) i felt so empowered by that experienced that i ended up cutting up w/ kathy, lorraine and mrs til 4 a.m. how's that for someone who almost stayed in bed while everyone else explored DC? ;) then there is mrs's husband phil. what can i say? the man made me laugh so hard i thought my ribs would crack! then when he got nicknamed "the enforcer"--he just seemed to light up. i think he may have gotten more out of the con than mrs!"

Forum Glitches...
Yahoo has just been absolutely hosed for the last 3 weeks. Messenger, chat, post boards, connectivity... you name it.We just want to remind everyone that the holidays coming up will only make connectiviy worse, so please have other support lines in place. We're all still here, you just may not see us... Any complaints about Yahoo should be directed to Yahoo Forum Bugs. There are no problems being reported currently at Delphi or Excite.

Saferoom.org
Our web site has undergone some behind-the-scenes changes, as our host company has recently changed its name to Xfire Software The Webmagik domain will still be active for a while, though the official company has been changed.

Most of you are already aware that you can donate funds to The Project by shopping though our web site. This month we feature our affiliates Disney, and Hershey's . You can visit their sites, and make online purchases by clicking the images here. To make contributions to The Project while you shop online, visit our Shop at The Project site. All donations go to the upkeep and maintenance of our web site, hosting fees, private server, and to our incorporation and legal non-profit status application fund. If you do not wish to shop online, but still desire to donate funds to The Project, please direct these inquiries to mrs88888 and copper_beech.

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