The Saferoom Project eNewsletter Edition 8, vol 1.8

15 May 2000
Edition 8, vol 1.8
Saferoom.org

	Updates on The Saferoom Project Newsworthy: A Survivor's Guide to Medications Momentos from Childhood 1 In the Rooms... Therapy Landscape: Sharing Secrets... What Our Members Are Doing Call For Submissions: ...Writers... Poets... Artists Acknowledgements About The Saferoom Project eNewsletter
Welcome The Saferoom Project eNewsletter!! a note from the Editor
Happy May Day!!! I hope that this edition finds everyone doing well! I would like to welcome all new readers to The Project, as well as wave to all the veteran members and supporters. Thanks to everyone for their continued support and effort in keeping The Project well supported, staffed, and a great place to be! As usual, there has been tons going on over the last month, and a few new features happening at the web site. May is a special month, bringing us Beltaine, Mother's Day, RAINN Day (16, which also happens to be "Wear Purple for Peace Day"), Armed Forces Day (20), Victoria Day (22 CA), Memorial Day (29 US), and of course graduation... So to all the mothers, vets, and Y2K graduates in The Project, we would like to wish you happy days, and hats off to you! be well. ~copper_beech

Updates on The Saferoom Project....

In the last month, all of the forums have experienced steady growth, and there are more and more regular chats being hosted. Please check out the calendars or schedules at each site, to find a chat time that is convenient for you. For directions to all of our forums, check out the FAQ at our web site, Saferoom.org.
Our web site also continues to grow, with new additions in the Gallery. Also, we have been added to the Survivor Law and Advocacy web ring, which provides good information on what is happening in the realm of survivor politics, advocacy and issues. You can refer to their web ring to find sources on attorneys who specialize in abuse/violence defense cases. We would also like to invite all members and Project supporters to submit their web sites to be included in The SRP Web Ring.
All partners, family, friends and supporters of survivors are invited to join the Yahoo SRP Partners, and the new Delphi SRP Partners forums.

We would also like to introduce our private channel on IRC, #Saferoom, located at irc.webmagik.net . You can access our channel via mIRC, or another client configured to access IRC, or by using a telnet application (for the techies ;). You can download mIRC and other IRC clients of your choice at IRC Clients.
Calling for Volunteers...
There are several things in The Project that are in dire need of volunteers at the moment. Initially, we need someone to cover the Open Mic chat that meets Tuesdays at 10pm EST, in Yahoo Saferoom. Please contact mrs88888 if you are interested in taking over this chat.
Anyone who is interested in writing for the SRPeNews, please contact copperbeech. The eNews is looking for regular features writers, news writers, book reviewers, and correspondents to cover events in each forum of The Project.
We need someone who can collect links for the web site. The current Links page has many useful links provided mostly by founders. In an effort to have more input from members on the site direction, we would like to have submissions of links for use on our site.
Another need right now is to build up our web ring. Any members who would like to include their home page or web site that complies with our guidelines for such, please submit your site at The Saferoom Project Web Ring.
Perhaps the most dire need at the moment, we have mentioned before is effort in preparation to apply for tax exempt non-profit status. If you are not familiar with this process, initially an organization has to become a corporation before it can apply to be a non-profit. Upon becomming non-profit, it can then apply for tax exemption status, so that anyone who donates funds to The Project can deduct it from their personal income taxes. For the most part, this is just a time-consuming process, that takes a lot of dedication on the Founders' parts. While getting all that we need together for this application, we have been saving money for this cause. Although some members have asked if they could help out financially with different aspects, we have been told to not take donations or contributions until we are legally recognized as a corporation.
In light of this, the MOST helpful thing we could find right now is an attorney. If one of you is, or knows an attorney who would be willing to do the legal work pro-bono or at a reduced rate, this would enable us to start the process off now instead of waiting for us to save up our pennies. If you know of anyone who can help, please contact us at Saferoomproject@yahoo.com.
After we become a corporation we can then apply for the non-profit status, which in turn will enable us to raise and achieve the goals we have talked about from the beginning, which are to maintain the safest forums that we can online, as well as inspiring outreach programs in the 3D community. The Saferoom Project will become a driving force within the community, both online and offline. All good things come to those who wait, and we are no exception.
Go to our web site to review our Mission Statement, and Application for Non-Profit Status. As items are updated, they will be reflected on these pages.
As always, thank you for your support!

Newsworthy
If you have a news item to include in the SRP eNewsletter, contact copper_beech.

A Survivor's Guide to Medications by oak_leef

Often there many questions arise regarding taking prescription medications- what kind, what are the side effects, should I take them. This article is a preliminary guide in understanding what types of medications there are available, that are used or prescribed for conditions dealing with PTSD, Depression, DID, Anti-pyschotic, sleeping disorders, etc.
Just as some over the counter medication can reduce a fever, headache, stomach ache, muscle ache, etc, without clearing up the primary cause for the symtoms, psychotherapeutic medications act by controlling symptoms. Psychotherapeutic medications do not cure mental illness, but they can and do lessen its burden. Such prescribed medications can help someone get on with life despite some continuing mental pain and coping with problems. Antidepressants can lift the dark, sometimes heavy moods of depression.
Medications do not affect everyone the same. Some people may respond better to one medication than another, or some may need higher dosages than others do. Some experience annoying side effects, while others do not. Age, sex, body size, body chemistry, physical illnesses and their treatments, diet, and habits such as smoking, are some of the factors that can influence a medication's effect.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD)
Post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, is a condition which some individuals can and do develop after they experience a very traumatic, sometimes life threatening, event.
Depression
Depression is a prolonged , deep emotional sensation of sadness, being "blue", or "down." Depressive feelings such as discouragement or sadness are perfectly normal if they do not become too severe or last too long. Depression becomes clinical if a person’s mood becomes too depressed or if such episodes last more than two weeks.
Not everyone who is depressed has all these symptoms, but everyone who is depressed has at least some of them. A depression can range in intensity from mild to severe.
Antidepressants are also used for disorders characterized principally by anxiety. They can block the symptoms of panic, including rapid heartbeat, terror, dizziness, chest pains, nausea, and breathing problems and can also be used to treat some phobias.
The last few years have seen the introduction of a number of new antidepressants. "Several of them are called "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors" (SSRIs). Those available at the present time in the United States are fluoxetine (Prozac), fluvoxamine (Luvox), paroxetine (Paxil), and sertraline (Zoloft). (Luvox has been approved for obsessive-compulsive disorder , and Paxil has been approved for panic disorder.) " A newer antidepressants, bupropion (Wellbutrin), is chemically unrelated to the other antidepressants. Wellbutrin ( bupropion) has not been associated with weight gain or sexual dysfunction. It is contraindicated for individuals "with, or at risk for, a seizure disorder or who have been diagnosed with bulimia or anorexia nervosa." Below are some common medications (brand name and generic name) often prescribed for this depression:
Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID)
Dissociative identity disorder was formerly called "multiple personality disorder." When a person intermittently experiences two or more identities, he/she may have a dissociative identity disorder. While experiencing a new identity, a separate personality takes control, and the person is unable to remember important and personal information about himself/herself. Each personality has its own personal history and identity and takes on a totally separate name. Below are some common medications (brand name and generic name) often prescribed for this DID:
olanzapine Zyprexa,
quetiapine Seroque,
sertindole Serlect ,
Psychotic
A person who is psychotic is out of touch with reality. The individual may "hear voices" or have strange and untrue ideas (for example, thinking that others can hear his thoughts, or are trying to harm him, or that he is the President of the United States or some other famous person). They may neglect his appearance, not bathing or changing clothes, and may become difficult to communicate with saying things that make no sense, or barely talking at all.
These behaviors are symptoms of psychotic illness, the principal form of which is schizophrenia. All of the symptoms may not be present when someone is psychotic, but some of them always are. These medications cannot "cure" the illness, but they can take away many of the symptoms or make them milder. In some cases, they can shorten the course of the illness as well.
"Most side effects of antipsychotic medications are mild. Many common ones disappear after the first few weeks of treatment. These include drowsiness, rapid heartbeat, and dizziness when changing position."
Below are some common medications (brand name and generic name) often prescribed for treatment of symtoms:
chlorpromazine Thorazine,
chlorprothixene Taractan
clozapine Clozaril,
fluphenazine Permitil
haloperidol Haldol,
loxapine Daxolin
mesoridazine Serentil,
molindone Lidone
olanzapine Zyprexa ,
perphenazine Trilafon
pimozide (for Tourette's Syndrome) Orap,
quetiapine Seroquel,
risperidone Risperdal
thioridazine Mellaril,
thiothixene Navane
trifluoperazine Stelazine ,
triflupromazine Vesprin
Sleeping Disorders
Sleep problems frequently occur around periods of stress in a person's life. It is not at all uncommon for a person's sleep to be disrupted following the death or around the time of a medical problem. Therefore, many sleep problems resolve once the stress is resolved or the medical condition subsides. However, some sleep disorders can begin with an acute problem and become a chronic sleep problem. Other characteristics that can occur with sleep disorders include depression, decreased concentration, fatigue, anxiety, and irritability. People with chronic sleep problems tend to have other illnesses such as stomach problems, muscle aches, and headaches.
When a medication is prescribed, asking your doctor these questions may clarify things:

What is the name of the medication, and what is it supposed to do?
How and when do I take it, and when do I stop taking it?
What foods, drinks, other medications, or activities should I avoid while taking the prescribed medication?
What are the side effects, and what should I do if they occur?
Is there any written information available about the medication?

How long someone must take a medication depends on the disorder. Many depressed and anxious people may need medication for a single period perhaps for several months and then never have to take it again. "For some conditions, such as schizophrenia or manic-depressive illness, medication may have to be take indefinitely or, perhaps, intermittently." Please note that in any situation, for a medication to be effective for you, is to remember to take it as it is prescribed and is helpful for you to understand what the medications' purpose is for you. Knowledge, in this case, is power and healing.
***********
Can I Look Now: Recovery from Multiple Personality Disorder, Rachel Downing, M.S.W.,Education Recovery Communications; 1992
Dissociative Identity Disorder : Diagnosis, Clinical Features, and Treatment of Multiple Personality, Colin A.Ross, MD, John Wiley & Sons; 1996
Depression and Its Treatment, John H. Greist, M.D., James W. Jefferson, M.D., Warner Books; 1994
Understanding Sleep: The Evaluation and Treatment of Sleep Disorders, Mark R. Pressman, Ph.D., and William C. Orr, Ph.D., Amer Psychological Assn; 1997

Mementos from childhood 1
i found it inside their dresser drawer was hiding my memory a light to keep me safe in the dark to keep the nightmares at bay i put it in the socket every night i said my prayers and tucked myself in tight but always he came and pulled them out the light from the socket the covers from around me i see his outline dark against the darkness i feel his heat and tuck the others deep inside	~ das 03/28/2000	and float away and watch until he is done then i move the body clean the mess put the light back in call the others out tuck in the covers again and finally sleep i hold this memory in my shaking hand it is a little light shaped like a christmas tree

In the Rooms...

Moderating Chats...
All of the rooms now have moderators with scheduled chats. Please check the calendars at each chat site, in order to keep up with them... The Excite forum is open, though it's not quite as sophisticated as Yahoo or Delphi, there have been a few members coming and going there. So far, only Yahoo and Delphi are voice chat enabled. If you are unsure of the location of these chats, read the FAQ at the Saferoom site. Please take some time to check out these forums and chats. And if you can give even just an hour a week, it would be great... Speak with a founder to find out how to host a chat...

Forum Glitches...

Yahoo has been... Yahoo? ...not letting people read the post board, or into chat. If all else fails, try Cheeta Chat, which can be used across a few chat systems. For those who are having problems with Yahoo Messenger, try using ICQ, which most members already use. Please know that we are aware of these problems, and any complaints as such for Yahoo should be directed to Yahoo Forum Bugs. There are no problems being reported currently at Delphi or Excite.

Shop The Project

Most of you are already aware that you can donate funds to The Project by shopping though our web site. This month we are featuring our affiliates The Franklin Mint, and AllHerb.com . You can visit their sites, and make online purchases by clicking the images here. To make contributions to The Project while you shop online, visit our Shop at The Project site. All donations go to the upkeep and maintenance of our web site, hosting fees, private server, and to our incorporation and legal non-profit status application fund. If you do not wish to shop online, but still desire to donate funds to The Project, please direct these inquiries to mrs88888 and copper_beech.

Therapy Landscape...
The SRP eNewsletter will include as a regular feature, different approaches in the world of therapy, known as Therapy Landscape. Watch this feature for challenges in therapy, new methods, and alternative healing resources. Any members who specialize in a field of therapy or healing are invited to submit articles on their experiences. Please contact copper_beech

Sharing Secrets... by mrs88888

After speaking to survivors for almost 2 years now I can safely say a majority of us have a lot of things in common, including common concerns. One concern I hear repeatedly is "Should I share?" Although this a very personal decision, there are some very positive things to consider and to keep in mind about sharing one's survival experiences. One thing to consider when deciding to share is the reason for doing so--why do you want to share, and who do you want to share with? It is also important to have a clear and honest knowledge of where are you in healing. Quite often the outcome from sharing our experiences, particularly with family, or those who would be close to a perpetrator, is not what we expect, or prefer. The decision to share needs to be done without having any expectations of whom is being told. We cannot share expecting ANYTHING of anyone. Sure we can use "sharing" as one of our tools in healing, but not as a "cure all". We cannot expect to be finished with our healing once we disclose. Sharing is a very big part of healing but we must realize it is only one step in the healing journey, which continues well after speaking out.
Rape and sexual abuse have ways of controlling our lives. Many of us spend countless hours of each day either thinking about it or flashing about it. In order to heal we need to loosen the control it has on our lives. By telling someone about it, the power starts to diminish. A lot of us have built up so much stress in our lives as a result of abuse. By letting someone else in on our little "secret" we can start to release some of that stress. Sure we can do relaxation techniques, we can take medications, talk to a therapist once or twice a week, but a large part of what helps of what releases the tension is sharing. By letting someone else in we now have another person to listen to us and we're not alone with it any more.
Telling someone else details of our experience, no matter how little is told, is not an easy thing to do, but what we live with on a daily basis is not easy either. One of the goals we need to strive for is to be able to share and re-experience the experience in a "safe" environment. Finding such a place to share can really be a very big step in our healing process. What happens a lot of times when we share is we begin to realize that the thoughts we have been experiencing are not dangerous to us at this moment. They're only memories of something that is not being experienced NOW, it's in the past. During flashbacks we re-live past traumatic experiences, and our bodies display the signs of this. We can experience headaches, nausea, anxiety, periods of not eating enough, overeating... As we start to be able to talk about these experiences more, our bodies become less anxious over time, and we begin to feel safe, and that the thoughts themselves are not "dangerous". With this sort of exposure therapy, the more detail, more people, and in more settings we tell, the safer we will feel, making thoughts and feelings easier to deal with. Each time you share your secret with someone else, it is harder to deny abuse. Part of our healing means breaking down the isolation a lot of survivors have endured, as well as intentionally perpetuated.
Talking about traumatic experiences is not easy for anyone, and it's also not easy to hear. The person being told must be someone "safe" with this information. There can be no room for vulnerability in the relationship with this person. It's also likely that the person being told won't understand what survivors go through on a daily basis. A lot of people see abuse as something we can "get over", when the simple truth is that we do not get over it. We just learn to incorporate it into our everyday lives. Nonetheless, be patient with the person and allow some time to "digest" what has been imparted. Some of us get support from people we share with, some do not. Do not let this discourage talking about the experience. There is something to be gained form the different reactions that people have to such information. It's wonderful to share it with someone with a common bond, who can understand, or to share it with someone that truly can be there for you. Likewise, there is much to be learned from someone who has simply put it back in the closet. It hurts to get that reaction, but it does not have to inhibit the freedom of sharing.
In talking with others, I feel like I have found my voice and I can speak it whenever I choose. I can and will share again, and I have learned I can control how and when I share. I can ask for what I need such as a hug, or advice. I have learned that it's not the response from the people I tell that is most important, but that I was able to overcome my fear and actually "say it" and share it. I am one step closer in my healing by being able to share. I do not doubt myself now and I am not isolating myself as much as before. We must have patience. A lot of us have lived with this "secret" for a long time. We need to remember we cannot fix it over night. Share with one person and move on from there, but remember the more people you share with the better off in the long run you will be. We are adults now and we have choices, unlike when we were children. Pick a safe place and share with someone you feel comfortable with, and release some of that built up shame you have been carrying around. Fear kept us quiet, our voices set us free.

What our members are doing...

All of the following information has been included at the request of the forum owners, who are members of a forum in The Saferoom Project. These forums are NOT part of The Project, and operate under different administrative requirements for membership. If you have a forum that you would like to have announced in the SRP eNewsletter, please send the information that you would like included to the Editor. We ask that you NOT use The Saferoom Project post boards or mailing list to announce other forums. Thank you!

Forums run by SR members
Soul Survivors Sanctuary Spiritual Survival Truth's Homepage SpiritQuest	Soul Survivor Sanctuary is a nondenominational club for survivors of sexual abuse to work together to reclaim their spiritual identity. Any belief system is welcome as long as you are nonjudgemental to the beliefs of others. This forum is located at Yahoo. Spiritual Survival is a discussion mailing list based at Onelist, focusing on healing methods, providing thought-provoking sharing for daily spiritual health. Contact truthsayer62 for more information. Also, visit Truth's pages to learn more about her.
SR Open Mic Weekly Chat	HOST NEEDED, Tuesdays at 10pm EST. This chat is for sharing and discussing original writings of members, and significant lyrics and poetry by other writers. To find out more about how to participate in Open Mic, join the SRPOpenMic mailing list at Onelist. To receive the poetry read at these chats, sendmail to SRPOpenMic for more information.
Soul Survivor Forum	This forum is for adults, over the age of 21, who wish to focus on alternative methods of healing. There are both post board and chat formats. Contact copper_beech for more information.
SRP Round Robin Weekly Chat	Hosted by copper_beech and oak_leef, Wednesdays at 9pm EST. This chat is a closed on-topic chat, open to all SRP members. With a support group format, each week we focus on a specific topic, some carried over week-to-week. All are welcome to attend, though we ask that you please be on time, and honor the chat format. Virtual snacks abound.
POSitive Partners of Survivors	A place for the Partners of the SA to get the support they need. A place for them to vent, get advise and even some insight from Survivors. We are currently posting and we have a weekly chat as well. Contact Hrtfelt32via email for more information, or Hrtfelt32 or SilencedAngel by Messenger.
Survivor Forums with which SR Members are affiliated
SRP Partners	The SRP Partners forum, for partners, friends, and family of sexual abuse survivors, is for supporters of survivors. For more info, write macaroni_duck.
	An advocacy organization focusing on the legal penalties of sex offenders. For more info, write Sandra Corell.
Lorretta Woodbury Online Discussion Forum	General survivor discussion panel moderated by Lorrain (in Cincy ;). Contact her at kkprncs@fuse.net for more information.

...Writers ... Poets ... Artists

The SRP eNewsletter is now accepting submissions for monthly publication of artwork (poem, prose, scanned artwork) by Project members. Only one submission will be published each month, which will be selected by the eNewsletter editors. Send all submissions as they are to be published to eNews Editor

Acknowledgements

The founders would like to thank everyone for their continued support and continual efforts to keep The Saferoom Project a positive, healthy, and safe atmosphere!!!

About The Saferoom Project eNewsletter

The SRP eNewsletter is mailed out on the 15th of every month, with pertinent information about The Saferoom Project, its affiliated resources, related forums, and events. If you would like to include an announcement in the eNewsletter, please send it to copperbeech by the 8th of each month.
All other inquiries regarding writing for the eNewsletter should be directed to the same email. Letters to the Editor should be addressed to Editor@saferoom.org.

Feel out of the loop? Read the SRP eNews Archive

©May 2000

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