15 June 2000 Edition 9, vol 1.9 Saferoom.org

	Updates on The Saferoom Project In the Rooms... Therapy Landscape: Self-Esteem What Our Members Are Doing Call For Submissions: ...Writers... Poets... Artists Acknowledgements About The Saferoom Project eNewsletter
Welcome The Saferoom Project eNewsletter!!      a note from the Editor
Hope this edition of the eNews finds you all doing well! Welcome, to our regular readers, and greetings to all of you who are joining us for the first time! Happy Father's Day to all of our Saferoom dads!!! Summer is upon most of us, and I hope that you have lots of relaxing, cool activities planned. Things tend to slow down a bit in The Project over the summer, with everyone away form school, vacationing and such, but we do hope that everyone will still stop by and check in every now and then. Take care of yourself, be good to yourself, and stay safe.     be well.       ~copper_beech

Updates on The Saferoom Project....

Over the past few months, all of the forums have experienced steady growth, and we now have about 10 regular chats being hosted. Please check out the calendars or schedules at each site, to find a chat time that is convenient for you. For directions to all of our forums, check out the FAQ at our web site, Saferoom.org.

Our web site also continues to grow, with new additions in the Gallery. We would like to invite all members and Project supporters to submit their web sites to be included in The SRP Web Ring.

All partners, family, friends and supporters of survivors are invited to join the Yahoo SRP Partners, and the new Delphi SRP Partners forums.

We also have a private channel on IRC, #Saferoom, located at irc.webmagik.net . You can access our channel via mIRC, or another client configured to access IRC, or by using a telnet application (for the techies ;). You can download mIRC and other IRC clients of your choice at IRC Clients.

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Calling for Volunteers...

There are several things in The Project that are in dire need of volunteers at the moment.

Anyone who is interested in writing for the SRPeNews, please contact the SRP Editor. The eNews is looking for regular features writers, news writers, book reviewers, and correspondents to cover events in each forum of The Project.

We need someone who can collect links for the web site. The current Links page has many useful links provided mostly by founders. In an effort to have more input from members on the site direction, we would like to have submissions of links for use on our site.

Another need right now is to build up our web ring. Any members who would like to include their home page or web site that complies with our guidelines for such, please submit your site at The Saferoom Project Web Ring.

Perhaps the most dire need at the moment, we have mentioned before is in preparation to apply for tax exempt non-profit status. If you are not familiar with this process, initially an organization has to become a corporation before it can apply to be a non-profit. Upon becoming non-profit, it can then apply for tax exemption status, so that anyone who donates funds to The Project can deduct it from their personal income taxes. For the most part, this is just a time-consuming process, that takes a lot of dedication on the Founders' parts. While getting all that we need together for this application, we have been saving money for this cause. Although some members have asked if they could help out financially with different aspects, we have been told to not take donations or contributions until we are legally recognized as a corporation.

In light of this, the MOST helpful thing we could find right now is an attorney. If one of you is, or knows an attorney who would be willing to do the legal work pro-bono or at a reduced rate, this would enable us to start the process off now instead of waiting for us to save up our pennies. If you know of anyone who can help, please contact us at Saferoomproject@yahoo.com.

After we become a corporation we can then apply for the non-profit status, which in turn will enable us to raise and achieve the goals we have talked about from the beginning, which are to maintain the safest forums that we can online, as well as inspiring outreach programs in the 3D community. The Saferoom Project will become a driving force within the community, both online and offline. All good things come to those who wait, and we are no exception.

Go to our web site to review our Mission Statement, and Application for Non-Profit Status. As items are updated, they will be reflected on these pages.

As always, thank you for your support!

Shop The Project Most of you are already aware that you can donate funds to The Project by shopping though our web site. This month we continue to feature our affiliates The Franklin Mint, and AllHerb.com . You can visit their sites, and make online purchases by clicking the images here. To make contributions to The Project while you shop online, visit our Shop at The Project site. All donations go to the upkeep and maintenance of our web site, hosting fees, private server, and to our incorporation and legal non-profit status application fund. If you do not wish to shop online, but still desire to donate funds to The Project, please direct these inquiries to mrs88888 and copper_beech.

Therapy Landscape... The SRP eNewsletter will include as a regular feature, different approaches in the world of therapy, known as Therapy Landscape. Watch this feature for challenges in therapy, new methods, and alternative healing resources. Any members who specialize in a field of therapy or healing are invited to submit articles on their experiences. Please contact copper_beech

Developing Skills to Improve Your Self-Esteem by oak_leef "The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others." ~Sharon Anthony Bower Being assertive...that's where you punch out someone you don't agree with, right? No. Maybe not. Assertiveness is often confused with aggressiveness. There is a big difference between these two concepts. Think of them placed on a continuum like the following: passive<------------>Assertive<------------>AGGRESSIVE Most of us who are concerned with becoming more assertive feel like we are too passive; it is difficult to stand up for ourselves in situations in which it would be justified and appropriate. In fact, a definition of being assertive might be, "the appropriate and honest expression of our views or feelings to another person, while respecting that person's rights as well." Being assertive does not mean knocking someone to the ground or taking over--that is aggression. It does mean that we say and do what we need to, but not with the intention to enact revenge or hurt another person. So what keeps some of us from being actively assertive, and what are the consequences of not being assertive? "Most people report that what makes it hard to be assertive is a fear of hurting another person's feelings, and perhaps risking rejection by that person." Even in my own experience, relying on what we think others think of us for my self-worth makes it hard to be assertive. There can be immense costs of not being assertive--does it hurt? What do you think? Have you felt hurt or angry, whether at yourself or someone else, when you have not stood up for yourself? Perhaps the worst consequence in the long run is that we may eventually feel we can't be assertive if we don't practice these skills. Our self- worth may dwindle to almost nothing, if it isn't already there, and we feel uncertain about tackling even small challenges. What can a person do to be more or start to be assertive? There are a couple of skills that you can practice that may help. One of these is called "I - language". What this means is simple: "When we have a reaction to something another person says or does, we let that person know how we are affected, using a phrase like, "I feel left out sometimes when we are in a group of people and you seem to ignore me." And what if your roommate borrows something and returns it damaged, or doesn't return it at all: "I feel pretty angry that you forgot and left the gym without my basketball. I would appreciate your buying me another one." All of this helps you know how you do feel at such times--the skill of recognizing feelings. Have you every experience a time when it takes you a day or two to figure out that you're mad? It's too late to say anything then, right? Is it? If it's a year or two, maybe it's too late. If it's a shorter time, it's okay to say, for example, "Last week when you borrowed my car and you brought it back on an empty tank, I was pretty mad. In fact I'm still upset." If you think you can say something of this sort, but you aren't sure you would know what to do then, it may help to schedule an appointment with your therapist or perhaps run it by a friend that is objective and neutral to the situation to come up with some ideas. But one thing is certain: "The skills of recognizing feelings and using I - language will help you to communicate more clearly and honestly if you practice them." __________________________________________ Asserting Yourself, Sharon Anthony Bower and Gordon H. Bower, Addison-Wesley, Reading, MA, 1991 Body Language, Julius Fast, M. Evans, New York, NY, 1988 Coping Through Assertiveness, Rhonda McFarland, Rosen, New York, NY, 1989

What our members are doing...

All of the following information has been included at the request of the forum owners, who are members of a forum in The Saferoom Project. These forums are NOT part of The Project, and operate under different administrative requirements for membership. If you have a forum that you would like to have announced in the SRP eNewsletter, please send the information that you would like included to the Editor. We ask that you NOT use The Saferoom Project post boards or mailing list to announce other forums. Thank you!

Forums run by SR members
Soul Survivors Sanctuary Spiritual Survival Truth's Homepage SpiritQuest	Soul Survivor Sanctuary is a nondenominational club for survivors of sexual abuse to work together to reclaim their spiritual identity. Any belief system is welcome as long as you are nonjudgemental to the beliefs of others. This forum is located at Yahoo. Spiritual Survival is a discussion mailing list based at Onelist, focusing on healing methods, providing thought-provoking sharing for daily spiritual health. Contact truthsayer62 for more information. Also, visit Truth's pages to learn more about her.
SR Open Mic Weekly Chat	HOST NEEDED, Tuesdays at 10pm EST. This chat is for sharing and discussing original writings of members, and significant lyrics and poetry by other writers. To find out more about how to participate in Open Mic, join the SRPOpenMic mailing list at Onelist. To receive the poetry read at these chats, sendmail to SRPOpenMic for more information.
Soul Survivor Forum	This forum is for adults, over the age of 21, who wish to focus on alternative methods of healing. There are both post board and chat formats. Contact copper_beech for more information.
SRP Round Robin Weekly Chat	Hosted by copper_beech and oak_leef, Wednesdays at 9pm EST. This chat is a closed on-topic chat, open to all SRP members. With a support group format, each week we focus on a specific topic, some carried over week-to-week. All are welcome to attend, though we ask that you please be on time, and honor the chat format. Virtual snacks abound.
POSitive Partners of Survivors	A place for the Partners of the SA to get the support they need. A place for them to vent, get advise and even some insight from Survivors. We are currently posting and we have a weekly chat as well. Contact Hrtfelt32via email for more information, or Hrtfelt32 or SilencedAngel by Messenger.
Survivor Forums with which SR Members are affiliated
SRP Partners	The SRP Partners forum, for partners, friends, and family of sexual abuse survivors, is for supporters of survivors. For more info, write macaroni_duck.
	An advocacy organization focusing on the legal penalties of sex offenders. For more info, write Sandra Corell.
Lorretta Woodbury Online Discussion Forum	General survivor discussion panel moderated by Lorrain (in Cincy ;). Contact her at kkprncs@fuse.net for more information.

...Writers ... Poets ... Artists

The SRP eNewsletter is mailed out on the 15th of every month, with pertinent information about The Saferoom Project, its affiliated resources, related forums, and events. If you would like to include an announcement in the eNewsletter, please send it to copperbeech by the 8th of each month.

All other inquiries regarding writing for the eNewsletter should be directed to the same email. Letters to the Editor should be addressed to Editor@saferoom.org.

Feel out of the loop? Read the SRP eNews Archive

©June 2000

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